Hill District, 1968

It was the springtime of 1968, a glorious day! Laughing and talking, my friends and I were strolling through the city. It was only a few years since segregation laws ended, but we didn’t care if others stared at us. We were young and optimistic with nowhere we needed to be. I don’t remember where we were headed, perhaps to a movie or a music club, but I can still sense the carefree feeling, the wondrous expansion of shared experiences. In my memory, I can hear us laughing and singing bits of songs.

Together, we accepted each other. Perhaps it was naivety. Class didn’t matter. Income was only an indicator of which concert we’d attend. Skin color didn’t matter. None of those labels made a difference. We were optimists, secure in our bonds. Nothing could hold us back. We walked into an evening touched by sunshine, full of promise, tightly encircled by friendship.

Suddenly there was a strange sound. It ripped through the air, echoed down the streets, and bounced off the canyons of the buildings. The sound ripped through my chest too, making it hard to breath or move. It was a ferocious, complex clamor. Guttural, as if a thousand voices screamed pain and rage and keening into the sky.

Abruptly we were surrounded by noise and people. We were shoved apart. In the midst of chaos, I lost track of my friends. Only Michael stayed next to me, grabbing my arm, pulling me out of the way. Of the next few hours, I have only scattered pictures in my mind. There are vignettes of memories that move and shift but do not form a cohesive whole. People running – scattering – darting apart — an agony of sound from all sides.

We backed against a building. Although I was a petite White girl from the country, Michael was at home in the city. He was thin and lanky with skin an exquisite shade of mocha and burnt sienna. He was also young and smart, full of the nascent self-reliance that the city forces on its Black youths. It was a blessing he stayed with me because he saved my life that night.

As the streets erupted around us, fires sputtering and bricks flying, he grabbed my hand and weaved his way through alleys, tugging me along with him. We raced up a narrow set of stairs to a small landing on the top floor. The landing was so tiny we could not both stand on it, so I stood behind him as he pounded. When the door opened, a huge frowning Black woman blocked the doorway.

“Who’s that with you?”

“My friend, Auntie.”

“Your friend?! Why’d you come here?”

He spoke quiet urgent words. I don’t remember how he convinced her to let us both inside, but he did.

At last, she shoved the door open and nodded for us to pass. That was when I realized she was not fat; she had a massive untreated goiter. I’d never seen one. Later I would appreciate what that goiter said about her life, her poverty, and about reality. What it said about my friends and me and our hopefulness and confidence.

As I entered, I spoke quiet words of thanks with a nervous smile, striving to be polite, trying to understand why she was angry with the two of us appearing at her door. I could not make sense of what was happening. I was trying to bridge a gap I had known existed but had not truly comprehended.

Inside the small neat apartment, all of the windows were closed and covered except one. After the tense awkward introductions, we spoke in scattered fits and starts. Outside we could hear crowds swelling in the street expressing their emotions: rage, sorrow, a thousand years of pain.

Thundering incoherent people…
An ear-numbing hum pierced intermittently by screams…
Roaring flames and flashing colors…
Smoke billowing upwards into the night…
Booming sounds…

Hearing a screech of metal, I peeked out the exposed window. I watched as people turned over a police car and set it on fire.

Auntie yelling “Get her away from there!”
Michael grabbed me and pulled me across the room.
Auntie’s angry scared voice: “Sit on that couch and don’t go near there again.”

Throughout the evening and into the night, we sat, nervous, sporadically talking.
We drank iced teas.
After a while, we just listened.

Finally, I fell into an exhausted sleep on the couch.

Startling awake to roaring…
Splintering and thumping and crashing…
Then, finally, a time of deadly silence…

The next day, during a period of edgy calm, Michael walked me home.

We walked cautiously, our voices quiet and nervous as we moved past National Guardsmen in combat gear strategically placed in pairs on the street corners. Silently they waited, alert, holding huge guns, watching us as if we would pull weapons from an invisible place. We walked timidly, trying to project the dull energy of innocuous, harmless, innocent people.

We felt like enemies in our own city. It felt like war, with a bewildering charged atmosphere. Due to the troops on the street, it seemed like the battle lines had come home. Home, from some distance place to land here, in front of us, as we attempted to walk small down the sidewalk. How could it be such a beautiful sunny day?

Later, across the city, a world away, newscasters reported the rioting. Their statements offered conflicting stories in clipped tones.

Reaction to the assassination of Reverend Martin Luther King Jr…
Troops on the streets…
Fires…
Riots quelled…
Curfew…
Stay home…
Tragedy…

Yes, it was a tragedy. The loss of King was one of many that had been suffered, but it wounded deep into the core. But that night was more than grief. It was pain. It was anger. It was injustice. It was a catastrophe that still reverberates through our society, and continues to stalk the streets of our cities. The rage ignited across the country, and even now, the battle has not been won. The work for acceptance and equality continues. Sixty years after his speech, we still need to obtain that dream he talked about.

My friends and I had existed inside the glow of companionship. I look back and remember that feeling of hope and friendship, the moment shining like a crystal. Before peer pressure and family expectations exerted pendulum swings — before all of the changes blew us apart too. Before we experienced the Vietnam War, the draft, homelessness, and poverty, before all of that, we were pals. Before the world changed for all of us, we felt the closeness of just being together.

We were friends, but even friendship does not always survive violence. In an instant, the world turned gloomy and somber and full of the weight of momentous decisions. That night, awareness landed like a lead weight.

Yet, we were friends. That moment stands out as the time when the door shut on childhood. That was the place where we were no longer teenagers. In spite of our ages, we became adults. None of us would ever be the same.

Because that was the first of my eye-opening experiences, but sadly, it was not the last of them. Even the best relationship does not always survive the inevitable erosion caused by the drip, drip, drip of hostility, the steady beat of shootings, the fierce bark of dogs, and nightsticks pounding heads. Perhaps the easy companionship of youth cannot survive knowing that those who were supposed to protect us were actually betting and laughing at how many hippies they could hit. Maybe it was detecting the excuses given as reasons for leaving fires unchecked in minority areas. Perhaps the knowledge was too much.

In the midst of those memories, Michael stands like a beacon, and I am ever grateful. Thank you, Michael, for your kindness and courage. Thank you for your friendship. Thank you for saving me.

Killers of the Flower Moon Review

After beginning with an action scene a-la-John-Wayne Westerns, Killers of the Flower Moon grabbed me and trapped me in a world that was equally fascinating and horrifying. The plot focused on the discovery of oil on Osage land. That wealth led to betrayals, lying, and murders. What a ride!

This is not a short film. It is almost 3 1/2 hours long. Despite that, after the first 15 minutes, everyone in the theater was quiet — the absolute silence due to complete attention. The acting was excellent. The plot was convoluted and thought-provoking, but did not get bogged down in history.

Often “based on a true story” means a loss of historical accuracy by the time the film is created. That did not happen here. Killers of the Flower Moon stayed true to the book, and to history, even when it might be jarring to the audience.  After being totally immersed in the movie, for instance, the ending was disconcerting. However, that was precisely how the book ended too. Like looking in a mirror and seeing yourself in another mirror, the ending identified some important philosophical ramifications. Ironically it also highlighted the positive and negative issues of using history as entertainment. At the same time it pointed out how this story had functioned in the past as propaganda (and advertising for the FBI), it focused on the need to tell the real story. The moral was that cinema can educate on more than one level at the same time. Killers of the Flower Moon excelled at that.

After watching the movie, I thought about the characters and their motivations for days. I literally discussed aspects of the plot with several people. How often has that happened in a recent film? There is so much I could say about it, but any discussion would require that you had watched the movie too. 

Killers of the Flower Moon was a great film! It is well worth the time. Go see it! 

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Movie: Killers of the Flower Moon.
Director: Martin Scorsese.
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Robert De Niro, and Lily Gladstone (with an amazing supporting cast).
Based on the book: Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI by David Grann.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (Review)

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon (Vintage Contemporaries 1st edition, 2004)

Since this book has been banned for “foul language” and “promoting atheism,” I expected it to be something it was not. First, the language is less about vulgarity and more about honesty. When a character swears, it makes sense and fits. In addition, I didn’t even notice the so-called atheism. Actually, it was a surprising visit to an unusual world.

The story is literally told from the perspective of a 15-year old neurodivergent boy named Christopher — the book notes state he is autistic, but that word is not used in the novel. Through exceptional writing, the author Mark Haddon captures Christopher’s distinctive view of the world by plunging the reader into the boy’s mind. Due to that unique viewpoint, the story is not told in the traditional style; just as it takes Christopher a while to understand the events, a reader will need a little patience in order to understand what is happening. The tale expands in a stream-of-consciousness narration (almost James Joyce in feeling) as Christopher discovers explanations to several mysteries that might have been obvious to a more neurotypical person.

The individuals who interact with Christopher react in a range of behaviors: some of them are kind, many are confused, and a few are nasty. Most of them are perplexed. The reader sees all of that through Christopher’s thoughts. In addition, the book does not let the reader escape from his emotional responses. Even though it takes a bit of effort, The Curious Incident of the Dog is well worth reading.

 

Marshall (Film, Review)

Marshall (2017) stars Chadwick Boseman, Josh Gad, Kate Hudson, and Sterling K. Brown and is streaming on Netflix.

The film Marshall rose out of the current interest in creating movies that highlight significant contemporary history. It focuses on one of the first major legal cases in Thurgood Marshall’s long and distinguished career. While some might argue it should have focused on Brown v. Board of Education, a later very famous trial that ended segregation in education, the case it focuses on is more obscure, and that brings more suspense to the story. Connecticut versus Joseph Spell was controversial in 1941 for many reasons. One reason was for having a Black attorney sitting with the defendant who was not permitted to speak in court. Despite the truly fraught foundations of the charges in which a Black man was accused of violently raping a White woman — with its attendant issues that still flummox the legal system in courtrooms daily — the film never stoops to clichés. Although there are plenty of instances of racism and sexism, it fearlessly and honestly displays segregation and the mainstream White cultural biases of that era while immersing the viewer in a critical moment in US history. Marshall is highly recommended.

“The Origin of Satan” by Elaine Pagels (review)

This is a review of The Origin of Satan by Elaine Pagels (Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, 2011)

Pagels is a professor of religion and history at Princeton. Based on that, you would expect scholarly language with many citations. You’d be only partially correct. While Pagels covers a lot of territory in her books and backs all of it with endnotes, she writes in an easy-to-read style. In this text, she begins with the first book of the New Testament to be written down, Mark, which was created during the war between the Jews and the Romans approximately 50 years after the death of Jesus. Building on the awareness of the social upheavals when “Mark” was transcribed, she coordinates the history with the concept of “enemy” showing the evolution of that definition over time. Although a lot happens since the book covers centuries, she focuses on Jesus, of course, and the nemesis of the title, as she explains the transition of beliefs and attitudes. As with any religious book, the reader will need an open mind in order to have the patience to let her work through the ideas. This is not simply a religious book; it is also a history of the development of an important Christian concept. Well worth reading if you have interest.

Joni Mitchell Long Ago

In the early Seventies — maybe it was 1970 or 71 — I saw Joni Mitchell live. She was fairly new on the scene, having started touring in US about a year or so earlier. That’s probably why I went alone. Back then, I loved concerts and attended a lot of them. That day, I was looking forward to hearing a musician play without amplification or back-up (auto-tuning had not been invented). It turned out to be a very special event.

I arrived early. A bit stunned by the lack of stage or chairs, I asked if this was the right place. After the confirmation, I remember sitting on a yellow shag carpet in the bare room. Luckily, and unknowingly, I had picked the best spot. In a while, a man walked in, stopped at the front of the room, and said in a quiet voice, “Joni Mitchell’s here.” Then he walked out of the room. A young, thin, long-haired woman walked over to the only chair and sat down. Most of us were too surprised to applaud. Envisioning that day, I don’t think she talked before she began strumming.

More people entered the room quietly and sat on the floor. We’d all shift a bit to make room. After the first few minutes, the room was packed, people all around me, but not in front of me. Joni was right there, a bit to the side, but directly in front of me. She was so close I could hear her breathing.

Everyone was silent. Perhaps because of the location, no one bantered or whispered to their friends. There she sat, her chair at the front edge of the group, with no bodyguards or roadies. Nothing like that would happen today.

Quietly, she sat playing the instrument, humming, and singing until she decided the concert was over. I don’t remember how long she sang and played. In fact, most of this event is nebulous and dream-like. It was amazing! At the end, I was so caught up in the spell of the music that I don’t even remember applauding, although I must have automatically clapped along with the others.

It was an ethereal experience that was difficult to describe even immediately afterwards. What I do remember is that she was amazingly special. She was gentle, tranquil, living as the embodiment of music. So we sat on that very Seventies carpet, strangers in a room, silently enraptured by her voice and music. We sat in stillness and wonderment until it was time to walk back out into the nighttime.

Tricky Dick and Johnny Cash

Review: Tricky Dick & the Man in Black (Remastered, Netflix, 2018)

In 1970, Richard Nixon invited popular singer Johnny Cash to the White House. That summary of the documentary does not tell you much.  I’m writing this because there are some very negative and misleading reviews online.  One reviewer even went so far as to call the documentary fake news — an ironic and insulting statement that is negated if you actually watch the film.

Ranging from FDR’s New Deal to Watergate and Haldeman’s trial, the film is much more than a simple documentary. It takes attention to see what is truly happening. The documentary provides an excellent view of the huge divisions in the US during the Seventies, a time when the country was divided by pro-war and anti-war beliefs (and much more that is not discussed in the film). The people interviewed also display that conflict-ridden outlook.

And through it all, we glimpse the complex beliefs and attitudes of the Man in Black. Cash was a man who supported soldiers while he demanded the truth from Nixon about Vietnam. The fact that the president applauded the song Cash wrote to ask about the war shows the power of Johnny Cash’s music. That is precisely why this documentary is worth watching.

Loving: A Movie Review

Watching Loving, the movie[1] about the Supreme Court case repealing anti-miscegenation laws, is a step into an older time. Beginning with a community in a poor country region, it moves us along at a slower, subtler pace. That is, until the arrest of the couple under the racist laws of Virginia where they were accused of an illegal marriage. Mr. Loving, a quiet white man, had the temerity to fall in love with a woman of mixed African-American and Native-American ancestry. Then he married her. So begins their decade long tribulations and court cases.

The Lovings are wonderfully portrayed as a slice of typical family life. Beginning with their arrest in 1958, the year they were married, the Lovings fought to have the simple rights of any married couple: to love each other, live together, and take care of their children.  Fifty years later the arguments of the various Virginia courts are more than insulting; they are ludicrous. Yet the racism of the Fifties and early Sixties has not disappeared. That fact makes this movie more significant and relevant. Loving offers a slice of shameful history shaped inside a delightful tableau. This movie is worth watching.

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[1] Loving, a movie released in 1996, written and directed by Richard Friedenberg

Black Moon Lilith and Uranus in Taurus

Since Uranus is a slow-moving planet, it will stay in Taurus through the rest of 2020. In fact, it will be in Taurus for the next six years.  While Uranus lives in Taurus, True Black Moon Lilith will visit Taurus too. In fact, she’s visiting Taurus right now. She will continue to make her home in Taurus for most of the next nine months.

However, True Black Moon Lilith doesn’t stay still for long so she will flit back into Aries and then return to Taurus a few times over the next few months. Many astrologers ignore the oscillations in the orbit of Black Moon Lilith — that’s why they talk about Mean Black Moon Lilith rather than True Black Moon Lilith — but those oscillations can actually be helpful to us as humans. Those little visits retrograde into the previous sign permit us to go back to the lessons we already learned (even if they are known unconsciously) when she was positioned in Aries (which began in January 2020). This is almost a little vacation before we must move once again into the new lessons of Taurus.

Today, on October 31, 2020, we have a full blue moon with Uranus conjunct the moon. Black Moon Lilith joins the party very close to this conjunction. Black Moon Lilith and Uranus will continue to play together through the end of 2020. This will also include a powerful time during the Winter Solstice, December 20-21-22, 2020.

With Black Moon Lilith and Uranus in Taurus, this placement can bring sudden events, raging weather, and abnormal behavior.  Lilith highlights the power of that disruption. Add the surprising aspects of Uranus and the possessive quality of Taurus, and Lilith can blow up power structures, cause riots, or send people to hide in their homes overwhelmed with anxiety. There could be terrible storms — we’ve certainly seen one hurricane already. As the fear and anger inside people is pushed through the power of this full moon, we will be asked to look at our comfort levels with certain situations, both as individuals and in groups of people.  

Why does this happen? Black Moon Lilith is not satisfied with her home unless there is justice, equality, kindness, and love in that home.  In Taurus, she can enjoy that home a lot. I’ll write more about that in another blog. However, Uranus and Black Moon Lilith in Taurus will offer subtle instructions or catastrophic lessons.

This full moon, and the on-going energy that radiates out from it for the next 6 months, has the power of the elements of Mother Earth. Although the fiery element has lessened a bit since the movement of Lilith out of Aries, there is still the power of fire, earth, water, and wind. These aspects tell us that it is time to learn. We may not like the teachings of Mother Earth, but we must acknowledge them and try to find ways to live in harmony with them.

The lesson of water, wind, and earth can be found in small things or huge catastrophes. It can be a dog that saves a child from drowning or the mudslide caused by clear-cut logging that wipes out an entire town. The thing to realize is that to Lilith, and to Uranus in Taurus, the concept of home encompasses the world. Together they focus energy on the well-being of the ignored and forgotten parts of society and of Mother Earth. That means, the impoverished, starving, homeless and abused aspects of humanity as well as the abused, ignored, and damaged facets of nature that continue to be harmed by bankrupt, greedy, and short-sighted decisions.

With these positions of Black Moon Lilith and Uranus in Taurus, the wealth of those in power could shift. There could be surprises around ownership of land or even companies. They might not actually own the property they think they own. Also growing from this disconnection to property, some individuals will decide to give up their homelands to move to a new country. Yes, I mean US citizens too.    

Uranus is often called the planet of change, but the change it brings is on a larger level. Uranus shines a light on transformation that is needed in societies, large institutions, countries, and generations. Black Moon Lilith, on the other hand, demands change on the personal level. She can force you to look at what has been repressed, ignored, hated or shamed; she can also force you to acknowledge what is valued, loved, admired, and honored.  

Through the power of these aspects, you will determine how you will act. Will you be stubborn and refuse to shift? Depending on why you decide to be stubborn, that might be a positive or negative action. Will you be lazy or focus on hedonistic enjoyments? Will you allow others to manipulate you through your worries and fears about security and safety?  Will you be driven to obtain more property and more wealth whatever the cost?  Lilith tells you to take responsibility for your deeds as well as your failure to act.

Black Moon Lilith gives you the option to choose self-determination. In addition, Black Moon Lilith with Uranus gives you the opportunity to expand what you want for yourself so that it encompasses others, whether that means the protection of those you love or the desire to extend your rights and freedoms to include strangers. With Uranus and Black Moon Lilith in Taurus, the choice is yours, and the power of the universe is backing you.

Copyright 2020 Lillith ThreeFeathers

Black Moon Lilith in Aries

Since January 2020, Black Moon Lilith has been visiting Aries.*  If your natal chart includes an Aries placement for True Black Moon Lilith or Mean Black Moon Lilith or the Asteroid Lilith, this aspect brings you lifelong lessons relating to how you see yourself and how you interact with others. For everyone else, the last 9 months has let us walk in your shoes for a bit.

Black Moon Lilith in Aries forces people to look at themselves and others in a new way. Significantly, Lilith in this sign demands action. This message might be submerged in your Shadow Self where it will express itself through dreams and unexpected emotional outbursts. Or it could be riding on your shoulder yelling in your ear. If you have done some Shadow Work and have a good relationship with those aspects of yourself, you might be lucky enough to have Black Moon Lilith telling you in a calm but intense voice exactly what things must change.

Regardless of whether that voice is conscious or unconscious, Lilith in Aries wants you to do something. Now is the time to try something new. Express yourself even if your voice is trembling from insecurity or shaking in anger.

Black Moon Lilith in Aries pushes you to look at yourself and see your strengths and weaknesses — and which of your traits is actually strength or weakness might surprise you. Those wings that always itched and bothered you because you couldn’t reach around to scratch them properly can also save you. That self-confidence could push you into a wonderful new journey or trip you into a mud puddle.  If it is the later, Black Moon Lilith in Aries tells you to go cry in the shower and then get on with the next step.

Since Lilith is often about those emotions some call negative, Lilith in Aries wants you to look at your fear and your anger.  Specifically, look at your fear in a new way.  Remember the platitude: brave people have fear, but they act in spite of that fear. Black Moon Lilith in Aries gives you the power to act even when you don’t feel brave. Sometimes it brings real courage.

Watch out because Lilith in Aries can bring outbursts of anger. If that happens, look at the causes of that anger. Just as Goddess Lilith gathers the undervalued, the misunderstood, and even the underdog to her, Black Moon Lilith in Aries can bring awareness of injustice; it focuses on those who are treated unfairly.

When your awareness shines on injustice, how you react depends on whether or not Lilith is part of your Shadow.  Will you see it as a personal attack? Will you see it as a social problem? Will the injustice confuse you? Will it teach you? Will you blame someone else for your mistakes?

More importantly, Black Moon Lilith in the sign of Aries wants action. How will you respond? How will you act?

* Black Moon Lilith was in Aries from January 27, 2020 to October 21, 2020.

Update: I’ve been asked when True Black Moon Lilith will return to Aries. Because of her irregular pathway, she will return to Aries in November 2020, the end of January 2021, and the end of February 2021. In April 2021 she settles into Taurus for a while until she enters Gemini in July 2021. More on those aspects later.

  Copyright 2020 Lillith ThreeFeathers.